| "The Things We Leave Behind" |
[30 Jul 2004|08:57am] |
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music |
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Movie - Hellboy |
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That's the episode name of the final 2 episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine... one of the greatest Star Trek episodes in history if I recall, though it's been so long that I can hardly remember how it went. Next Friday night at 9pm U.S. Eastern Time on Spike TV, they're showing the final two episodes back-to-back. I mentioned this to my mother, who stopped watching Star Trek shortly before the final season of the show, and mentioning it in here, trying to make sure that I won't forget. I've been looking forward to seeing it ever since Spike TV started showing all DS9 2-part episodes on Friday nights, like several months ago, checking the Yahoo TV guide weeks in advance throughout. This final episode is about the Federation invading Cardassian-Prime (their homeworld), and I remember it for being totally awesome. Pretty sure not many of you at all will care either, hahaha.
In my medical news, since my wound isn't healing my doctor is referring me to a plastic surgeon to "block" the wound. It's basically my only good option as leaving myself the way I am now leaves a good chance that I'll internally bleed again. This sucks.
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| Some More Quizzes |
[27 Jul 2004|09:35am] |
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mood |
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 moody |
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music |
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TV - Cold Pizza |
] |
name="quizform" target="_new" action="http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=9928" method="post">
| Which LJ friends will you sleep with? |
| LJ Username | <input ... > | | Favorite Color | <select ... ><option ... >red</option><option ... >blue</option><option ... >yellow</option><option ... >purple</option><option ... >green</option><option ... >orange</option><option ... >pink</option><option ... >white</option><option ... >black</option><option ... >brown</option></select> | | Are you drunk? | <input ... > | | Sex in the backseat of a car | faminewing | | Sex at a democratic convention | luneinfidele | | Sex on a nude beach | luneinfidele | | Hottest sex of your life | ilkehky | Sex rating - 88%
| | Number of times you will orgasm | 238 | | <input ... > |
This QuickKwiz by akasha82 - Taken 18335 Times.
</a> | Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz</div>
</form>
Weeeeeeeeeee, all sexy ladies!
76 children!? Hahaha.
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| Oh, No |
[26 Jul 2004|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard |
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Something bad is happening to me. I have a bad feeling I'm internally bleeding once again. I have a doctor's appointment Thursday and I'm going to have him check to make sure. If I am internally bleeding again I'm going to be gone for a very long time. Will have to live with a relative or something. It's either I take the time to get better or I'll die... I'm not going to give up hope on life quite yet, so I'm going for my first option. That's only if I'm internally bleeding for sure, may just be that my healing wound had a cut in it or something, not sure.
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| Okay, Here We Go |
[25 Jul 2004|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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TV - MLB: Yankees at Red Sox (Red Sox SUCK!!!) |
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This ought to take a long while, so I'll update it as I go. Playing Mario Golf for the Gamecube and watching the Yankees play at Boston... by the time I'm done with this post the game ought to be over. Now I'm going to try and go into depth on what's been going across my mind, and I can figure that no matter what anyone says, nothing will change with me. I really don't know where I can start.
I'm just upset. That's all I really feel anymore. I'm frustrated, annoyed, and extremely depressed and I am having a harder and harder time fighting it. I may just go sentence by sentence here, writing one out, playing a game and watching this Yankee game (it began when I started and now it is the bottom of the 1st, 2-0 Yanks but the Sox have had bases loaded since 0 outs, and now they have 2 out). Still trying to recover from surgery, which is taking forever. My very few friends I have around me are all so damn lazy and won't go out and do anything, so I'm stuck playing video games in my free time. My roommate, though I like him, is damn lazy. Very damn lazy. And laziness is something I don't appreciate much. He won't wash his damn dishes... the ones in there now are all ones he used and they've been in there for a month or so, ridiculous. I bought a new dish scrubber today as well since he got rid of the older ones. I'd move out but since my job hasn't delivered on any of the four merit raises they had promised me, I still can barely afford it. I'll need to once I am able to get better and try to have a girlfriend. I most definitely can't bring a girl home and have a roommate in, as well as having her see how messy he can be. Ridiculous.
At work I'm just as annoyed with everything. Been working an awful lot for the new manager who is screwing up my department and wasting a lot of my time, and he rewards his overnight buddies instead of me, pathetic. I'm just totally worn out, but we still have two people on vacation and my afternoon guy won't get anything done. It's all just plain aggravating.
And then there's the sick sense in my mind and heart that when I am able to fully recover and get things back together, I'll still never be able to find a girl. I'm damn picky, and that's fine with me, however the very few girls I've ever cared for haven't liked me back. I have a sick feeling that they still won't either, somehow. I've met someone where I work that fits basically everything that attracts me... and it doesn't matter at all because I really don't stand a chance. Last time she and I have spoken was before my surgery, and I never go out of my way to talk to people if I don't know them well or feel comfortable around them. I get a miserable feeling inside me just by seeing her and having the feeling I may never meet anyone like her ever again.
You know, there's only one girl I ever really asked out, and this was before I got sick. When I was a sophomore in high school there was a girl I had liked and I figured it could work, but her father wouldn't let her date. As things went bad for me and she and I had less classes together, we didn't talk much as we were off to college; she went to Toronto to study to become a doctor as I went to Tallahassee to take English Literature, a 3,000 mile or so difference. That was it. I just feel sick and miserable and I've done all I could to fight it. I know that what I had could have killed me, I almost died while I was at Florida State from starvation, and I was getting closer to dying before I had surgery because my internal bleeding increased by a good amount; for the month before I had surgery I was often dizzy from blood loss and I couldn't get enough sugar back into me to counteract it. I try to think whether it was worth saving my life to lead this life... I won't be able to know until I take my life back and see where I can go with a body I can control. I had quickly lost 11 pounds in one month just by a regular eating diet, but since my lazy a** friends won't do anything and I can not sit well to use my exercise bike until my wounds finally heal up, I have not been able to lose anymore since. This is taking too long. If I can get better and go for the very few girls I could be attracted to, I still don't feel as though I can pull it off. I wish I can stop being so saddened but for now and for a while longer, I won't be able to stop it.
I must have said over a dozen times while watching this game, "F*** you Boston." John Kerry is a Red Sox fan... that automatically disqualifies him from me ever voting for him, hahaha. I'm serious too. I will not support for anyone who likes the Red Sox. So here's my Presidential summary, I don't like Bush, I dispise Kerry, and I don't feel comfortable with Nader. I'll vote for anyone who has the best debates, though the U.S. is too stupid to really vote for anyone besides Bush or Kerry. If McCain becomes the V.P. candidate under Bush then I'm automatically voting for Bush. For now, I'm probably going for Bush anyway just so I can see how his "story" can unfold with Iraq and Bin Laden.. and North Korea and Saudi Arabia for that matter. That fool has gotten us in so much trouble it is sad, but I don't feel that anyone else running for President can pull us out of trouble with the rest of the world. Top of the 5th in the game by the way, 6-2 Boston.
EDIT - 10:45pm: I forgot to finish a sentence in the second to the last paragraph. Exmuses would have had my head! [bows to the Grammar Goddess and tries to steal the dictionary back]
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| What's to Come... |
[24 Jul 2004|05:58pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
] |
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music |
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TV - MLB: Yankees at Red Sox (Red Sox SUCK!!!) |
] |
I've needed to get things off of my mind for the longest time... but too tired for now. Those who still read this, this is a message to check again in a couple days or less, depending on when or how much energy I'll have to be able to type out a long entry. I could do my usual and talk about how I fare at video games (I bought NCAA Football 2005 the day it came out and have played it religiously everyday on the hardest difficulty, quite an engaging experience).
There are things I wish I could tell people I know around me where I live, but I no longer have such close friends anymore that live near me. It eats away at my psyche day in and day out and things need to stop. I'll explain more when I can.
By the way, the Yankee game I'm watching had a bench clearing brawl... gotta love how Hockey has positively influenced other major sports, hahaha. Hockey owns you all. In other news, looks more and more likely that there will be no NHL season next year with the current lockout prospect looming. I'll be extremely miserable if that's the case.
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| Okay, I'll Try Again |
[23 Jul 2004|03:12pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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TV - NWA-TNA Impact! |
] |
Oooh, Sexy Exxy!
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| Answer to Heather's Quiz |
[23 Jul 2004|01:49pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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TV - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine |
] |
I guess I don't have enough friends on my list to ever get answers for quizzes that have friends in answers. Gas X, eh?
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| BUSY! |
[16 Jul 2004|03:05am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Silence |
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Today will be day 8 of my 25 days-in-a-row of working, hahaha. My buddy who works in the morning is on vacation for a while because his mother is sick, one of my overnighters went on vacation yesterday until the 26th, and my afternoon guy may not be in my department for long (he's never working in my department anyway). That leaves 3 of us, 2 overnighters and I, but 4 days a week there will be only one person overnight since the other is off. So the worst is yet to come, as in a couple days from now I'll have to start pulling off 12+ hour shifts every single day for a couple weeks, oh joy!
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| Stuff Not Having To Do With Games! |
[04 Jul 2004|04:18pm] |
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music |
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TV - Wimbeldon Championship: Roddick vs. Federer (on tape) |
] |
Realized that I haven't updated about my medical condition in a while... not much to update. Very slowly getting better... too slowly. I have to take pain killers when I work because I lose the ability to walk after so much pain, since it winds up numbing my legs in time. Also back on antibiotics since I became very sick last week and was losing the ability to sit and could barely walk, bah humbug! It'll still be probably a month or more before I'm better, a lot longer than I had hoped for.
In other news... something worked. Without having the ability to exercise I've still managed to lose 6 pounds in 2 weeks... rather odd. I don't need sugar to counteract blood loss from when I was slowly internally bleeding... though I've been rather out of it still as of late, not thinking clearly at all.
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| More on Earth 2025 |
[02 Jul 2004|02:57pm] |
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music |
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Movie - Cold Mountain |
] |
I also forgot to mention that as well as using all of my money to buy army units (either turrets or jets) at the end of my turns, I also sell all of my bushels except for 100 and use that cash for building more units. That's why I'm CVDs War Machine, hahahaha (formerly DEATHs WAAr MAAchine in Utopia). I'm changing back to the Communism government for next round since it gives a lot more industrial production and that's basically how I get most of my army, just wanted to give Theocracy a try for once. Oh plus... now 8th place, bwahaha. I may just be able to stick in the Top 10 if these other suckers don't do anything, but I won't be expanding to new acres for maybe a couple days.
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| I Get Tired of Making Subjects! |
[01 Jul 2004|07:43pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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TV - Seinfeld (the best sitcom of all time!!!) |
] |
It took me until 7:15pm to realize that it was the 1st of July and the new round of Earth 2025 started. Fortunately they even out the turns given for the first couple days so late starters can have equal chances to stay with the early starters. I took my turns and am 21st, but as ALWAYS, my networth/acre is way higher than everyone, hahaha. Everyone both above me and within range of me below me all have higher acres. This is why I'm rarely attacked, when people see me in the standings with low acres, I'm either too small for them or they attack and fail against my defense (my high networth is because of a huge army, not because of acres). I also quickly built up my construction sites as usual, so I can build 18 buildings per turn (which is a lot for so early in the round, though I usually get as high as 35-40 per turn). This time I picked a different government than I used to: Theocracy. Speeds up my construction and lowers the prices for buying units for my army. I don't build military bases for lowering prices either, only a LOT of industrial complexes to make them myself, and when I make attacks and use up my turns for buildings, I spend all of the money I have left to buy units (usually turrets for more defense, but I'll get more jets if I lose a lot on attacks). If attacked, you lose some cash (which is why I spend all of mine after my turns). Enough ranting from me. As I mentioned, I slowly fall back in the standings through the first half of the month as I always have less acres than most, then I climb up through a lot of attacking and my construction sites allow me to save a bunch of turns on building on my new acres, and for the last couple days I wipe out those above me with whatever missiles I have. I also never ally with anyone, heh heh. None of you know what I'm talking about anyway, peace.
EDIT: 9:54pm - I bumped myself up to 11th, now going to try and fall asleep, which I failed doing a couple hours ago.
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| More on Runescape |
[30 Jun 2004|09:46am] |
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music |
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TV - Wimbeldon: Henman vs. Ancic |
] |
No wonder I couldn't find myself on the map, as mentioned the map I was looking at was for Runescape Classic, while the Runescape I play now is a newer style. It's all so confuzzling! I'm about to travel to another town (I found myself on the new map), where a fishing shop is located, and learn fishing and cooking so that I can have fish in my inventory to recover health faster. I'll put the things I have now in a bank before I go, figuring I may run into trouble on the way.
EDIT: 10:25am - Bah, I can't get far enough West without being a member (which costs money). Each way to get where I want to go is blocked off by locked gates and the like that only members can get through. Booo. There are no fishing shops at all to the east, so I just have to hope that someone will sell a fishing rod at a general store and I grab it quickly. I only have 2 baits left anyway, hahaha.
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| Another Return |
[29 Jun 2004|04:49pm] |
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Well another game I used to play online that only a couple of you may know about, called Runescape, is another game that I had just checked out... and boy did it change! It's no longer just a face down graphical approach, now it is semi-3D (appears 3D at least), and you can change directions from left to right and ground level to overhead. That's just one simple change. A lot more things have been added to the game, the whole interface looks different... and I have no clue where I am in it right now, hahaha. I think the World Map no longer applies to this new game, as it is called Runescape Classic map, but I don't play the classic game, but I guess a newer version. When I logged back in after 1 1/2 years or so of not playing, it first presented me with options to change how my character looks under the armour (which I still have along with the rest of my old stuff). I'll play it again sometime since my Everquest game won't run well with my new computer's on board graphics card (and I won't waste money on a new one). Runescape is basically a simpler style of Everquest, except you can only be human, not any other race.
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| Let's Try It Again! |
[29 Jun 2004|03:32pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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music |
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TV - Wimbeldon: Sharapova vs. Sugiyama (go Sharapova!) |
] |
Near most all of my friends on this LJ list I had met through a game called Utopia (or through the Utopia Temple Forums). Also, I would have never met them through Utopia if I didn't play the game Earth 2025, which I originally played back in 1998. Now, I will still never return to that game, DEATH in Utopia is still gone for good... but I have unfinished business in the game of Earth [wink]. I never won the tournament, though I got to Game A on several occasions a long time ago. I hadn't played it for two years a couple years back, went back into it, and still stormed through everyone, though only playing a couple rounds. It's been nagging at me that I have the ability to win Game A, just never played it long enough to fulfill it... so I may as well try it again. Mehul the Mefool never "drastically changed" Earth 2025 like he claimed and I hoped he never would, and my ol' war formula still works out fine. May as well give it another go using my usual successful strategy: start slow by building up defenses and a lot of industrial complexes and construction sites, quickly change to primarily jets created from industrial complexes, and start my way up through a lot of offense; with one week left in the round (rounds are one month each) I start using up my missiles I'd built up through the round and start nuking all of the Top players, use my jets to do bombing runs instead of land grabs, and knock their networths lower for me to fly right on by. Sneaky sneaky, but it's always worked well. None of you will care though, hahaha. Next round begins in a couple of days.
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| [insert subject here] |
[22 Jun 2004|12:58pm] |
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mood |
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discontent |
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music |
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Silence |
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Well, it's official, I completed my resume and sent it to SouthTrust bank (which just got bought out by Wachovia, not a good sign for me) in the hopes of getting a job with them. I went back to work yesterday and it didn't go well at all. I didn't bring my pain medicine with me in my car like I should have, nor did I put an Icy-Hot bandage on my left shoulder blade (I don't think I mentioned what happened with that, but no time for now), and I was in a lot of pain for most of the day, and I wound up leaivng an hour early because of it. I still hate the fact that I lost my shot at being the department manager because I was sick and didn't know my old manager was leaving (he told me wasn't)... it really ticks me off. Basically why I applied to the bank teller job, which I really hope I get... really really hope. Have to hurry and take a shower and go to my doctor's appointment, ciao.
EDIT: Ah, I did mention abount my shoulder blade the entry before the last one. I'll ocme home after my appointment and put it on, as well as take a pain killer before work.
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| The Last Arrival |
[20 Jun 2004|12:28pm] |
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music |
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TV - PGA: The U.S. Open |
] |
Dynasty Warriors 4 arrived yesterday. Haven't tested it yet, but I will sometime soon. It would be the last game to come in, but I'm going to call the Sega company to try and get a new copy of Sega Sports Tennis.
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| More Bad Fortune... Stupid Fortune Cookies |
[20 Jun 2004|02:14am] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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TV - Metal Masters |
] |
I went to a Chinese buffet with my grandparents a couple days ago and they gave me all of the fortune cookies as usual. And as usual, I only had one per day... except for this upcoming day I may not have the remaining one. The first day I had one was the day I found out my new Sega Sports Tennis game didn't work... not pleasing. On the second day, which I guess is yesterday now... well it was bound to happen: slightly light headed and my legs have been weak from recovering from surgery, and a short time before I fully recovered, I finally lost my balance and fell in my room. I didn't land on anything, but I REALLY hurt my left shoulder blade muscle badly. In a Hell of a lot of pain, like the pain I have when I have back spasms act up, such as whenever I move, a sharp pain goes from my shoulder blade and through my back. I can't sleep at all, damnit. I'm supposed to be back at work Monday, bloody hell. I don't need to be in this pain, and it had better diminish by then. I won't be having that last fortune cookie [wink].
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| [makes a face] |
[19 Jun 2004|12:07am] |
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mood |
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Disgruntled |
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music |
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TV - Frasier |
] |
After my little eBay shopping spree for those games, a couple weeks later I also ordered a very nice and cheap Sega Sports Tennis, a game deriving from a Sega Gamecast game that my close friend from high school and I would play at Best Buy after school, playing on the same side in doubles matches against the hardest difficulty computer. After like 30 tries, we finally beat the computer (it was only a one set match anyway), something like 6-4. Well, anyways, I received that game yesterday... I still have yet to receiver Dynasty Warriors 4, a game I've been wanting to buy since they bloody day it came out, and finally was able to get a great price on. I sent an e-mail to the lady that was supposed to send it to me, who said she'd send me an e-mail as soon as she shipped it (she sent me the e-mail stating she received my payment and would send me the e-mail saying she shipped it... which she didn't do). I want my Cao Cao!
EDIT: 12:58am - I'm not pleased. The Sega Sports Tennis was a new game, nice and sealed... and it came with a slight defect in the disk which won't wash off at all, and the game will not load. I'll try to use the 90-Day Warranty for it, and they had better get me a new copy. I have a receipt of the transfer on my computer to print out as well. I was looking forward to playing this game, damnit. I get rather tired of these stupid damn little things happening to me on top of the stupid damn big things that are always happening to me.
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| Another SO CLOSE! |
[17 Jun 2004|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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TV - I, Max |
] |
Completing the Pizza Boy mission level 10 in Vice City increases your health maximum from 100 to 150, quite good, but I have a hard time beating level 7 and 8, very difficult. Hard to get around the Downtown area and get back to the pizza restaurant to pick up more pizzas to get to the customers, and then get back to the restaurant within the time limit once I get to levels and 8.
When you successfully complete Vigilante mission level 10, you increase your armor maximum from 100 to 150... now these missions I do better with and are the subject of this entry. I typically use the FBI Washington car found in the Downtown area for my vigilante missions (you can use cop cars, FBI cars, cheetah cop cars, rhino tanks, and the hunter helicopter, which is considered the best to use, though I don't have access to one). The FBI car has better handling and better car armor than the cop car, so I prefer that one. When you exit a vigilante car, you have 60 seconds to re-enter any vigilante-able vehicle (or copter), so I typically hunt down the cars I'm chasing, shoot their car from the side, hopefully bursting their tires so it's easier to keep a handle on them, and when they get out of their car I get out of mine and bust out my colt python pistol and pick them all off (so they don't shoot my car... it is easier for me to target them on foot). Now, in my earlier attempt, I made it all of the way up to level 9 and completed it, using the lower wanted level cheat to get other cops off of my back (I feel as though it isn't right that cops go after me for doing my job properly, hahaha). However, during level 8 my FBI car started flaming up and I had to exit it; using my cunning abilities I shot the first cop I saw on the sidewalk and the cops went after me. I let them get out of their car to shoot me and I picked them off, then lowered the wanted level again and took their car, hahahaha [CVD is a smart little gangsta'!]. Unfortunately, when I completed level 9 and got the cops on me again, my cop car wasn't moving and in the process of entering the code to lower my wanted level, a cop yanked me out of the car, and though the code was already in, the process of the cop getting me out of the car and throwing me on the ground was already in process, so I was arrested right as I was starting level 10 (with a LOT of extra time to complete the level, as I finished off the earlier missions quickly).
Oh well, I'm about to try again now, and hopefully I'll have more success. However, I'm going to have to get more shotgun ammo as I think it may pick off the crooks on foot faster than one at a time with my python. The shotgun in the Ammunation downtown is sold out (as usual, bah), so bought the stubby shotgun (the one I was already using) inside the mall. I think I have over 200 rounds of it now, hahahaha. Heading back to the other island to save the game and go for the vigilante mission again.
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| A Cool Star Wars Survey |
[17 Jun 2004|12:36pm] |
| [ |
music |
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TV - MLB: Rangers at Reds (Griffey going for 500 HR's) |
] |
Sweet, I love the double-saber, but yellow sucks. A blacklight saber would rock. I am well adept with Force Tuneness (a word I've never heard of) as well as Force Power, yay! I'm CVD, I don't need Sense, hahahaha.
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chris_van_dam's journal